Jan. 10, 2012 New Hampshire Primary Top Ten Campaign Promises
1. Return state to traditional values by calling it Old Hampshire.
2. Reflect gentrification by changing state motto to “The Granite Counter Top State.”
3. Modify state license plates to say “Live free and diet.” to encourage a healthier lifestyle.
4. Classify maple syrup as an alternative fuel.
5. Build a fence on the border with Maine to keep the lobsters out.
6. Boost employment by hiring moose crossing guards.
7. Require candidates to reveal all disgusting personal details before campaigning in state.
8. Make candidates pay for everyone’s meal if they enter a restaurant and ask how everything is going.
9. Provide airlift of all registered voters to Bermuda until after the primary.
10. Move the 2016 New Hamphire primary to next week and get it over with.
Copyright 2012 DJ Cline All rights reserved.