Oct. 5, 2014 Blumbers

Marking A Half Century

My friend Mark is turning fifty. That is 350 in dog years or approximately 1500 in goldfish years. Of course, if he was an Apple iPhone with a lifespan of two years, he would be only 25. If he were a bristlecone pine,  he would barely be a pine cone. If he were a Highlander DVD,  he would be a boxed set by now. If he were a Hollywood celebrity,  he would be in his fifth rehab.

Part of being a cranky old man is dealing with the next fifty years. Now he will be old enough to complain about dolphins voting, robot marriage, post-apocalyptic gluten-free cannibalism, offshore oil drilling in Kansas, plastic surgery for celebrity pets, and the inability to find a parking space at the euthanarium.

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